Dawn

Sangria. Light spilled through the crags of the mountains in the distance, cool and fresh with the new morning air. Sangria. The dawn of a new day, a new era, a new alliance. Sangria… Yet even the mighty rays of victory and the sun struggled to pierce the scorched smoke and heavy despair in the valley below. “Sangria?”
She turned her head just slightly to acknowledge the boy - no, the man - who now stood by her side, never taking her grey eyes off of the ruin in the fledgling valley just east of the hill that the pair stood upon. A single cherry tree graced the hilltop, Sangria’s ebon war stallion grazing peacefully below its branches. Soft sunlight glittered and danced across his dew laced barding, barely tarnished by the late battle that had ensued the night before.
“Tyrian.”
He shifted his crested sable helm under his right arm, as he nodded solemnly to her and joined her in silence, looking down at the ruin below. The scent of charred wood and flesh tainted the clean morning air, and Sangria finally averted her gaze, studying Tyrian’s smooth, young profile. A wistful smile played across her lips as she thought of her own battle scarred body, unbeknownst to the public eye.
“You’re going to miss it,” she stated bluntly.
He nodded, warm brown eyes fixated on the wreckage below. “I know I will.” After a stretch of silence he finally turned to meet her gaze.
She knew what he had lost; Her own civilization had seen rises and falls of this degree for ages before; alliances with countries mightier and weaker than both his and the one that lay destroyed before them made for a colorful history of her ancient society. Her heart ached for his country’s loss… and also for Cyan’s.
“I know she’ll rebuild it eventually,” Tyrian continued, following her line of thought seamlessly before again falling silent. Sangria hid her smile at his similarities to her, lest it be misinterpreted. His and Cyan’s young societies had been intertwined since the dawn of their peoples’ time, so different yet living in relative harmony. She knew it was going to be difficult for their peoples to adapt to the new situation that they had been ushered into.
Sangria lowered her gaze to study the earth between her mud encrusted dragon scale boots, an unfamiliar pang of unavoidable guilt and sorrow coursing through her stomach. She’d invaded their peaceful existence, her sway like poison in the bloodstream of their confederacy. She had always hated destroying alliances. This one in particular was beautiful in its own simplicity. Her heart warred with regret and shame for what she had influenced.
Yet she had seen the potential in Tyrian’s civilization; potential for bigger, better, amazing things. She’d felt the way his and her societies melded so effortlessly and beautifully in beliefs and aspirations. So she’d shown his people that there was more in the world than their quaint existence in their secluded valley. There was more to aspire to than this meager existence.
Their silence stretched onward.
Sangria looked back down at the wreckage, keeping her chin up stiffly. “I’m sorry.” She knew he understood what the apology was for. She just hoped he would be able to forgive her for what she’d done.
“No apologies, Sangria.” Tyrian touched one gauntleted hand to her own in reassurance. She nodded, the knot in her stomach easing a bit, his acceptance of her tactics reinforcing her belief in her own judgment.
“All is fair in love and war, they say, right?” Sangria smiled wistfully and drew her ancient longsword, tarnished by the unfair slaughter the night before, before driving it deep into the earth before them.
A smile flickered across Tyrian’s lips. “Right.” He thrust his own steel blade, already wiped free of the grime of battle, down into the dirt beside hers. Together, they turned to the rising sun, intent on seeing what the new day would bring.

Viva Las Vegas!

I'm ready for Vegas, baby! Bags are packed, shoes are on, etc! This is gonna be a totally sweet time. I'm gonna try to update my blog every night (if I'm sober enough to do so... and hell, maybe even if I'm not! It might prove to be an... interesting... read the day after!) so I can keep some fun records of the whole event. I'll be taking pictures the whole time, but considering PritPrit decided to nom the USB cable to my camera, I won't be able to add those until I get a new one when I get back to Massachusetts. Oh well!

On another, almost as exciting note, I PLAYED MONSTER HUNTER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. It was almost better than sex. Although that's honestly just a guess considering I haven't had any sex for like... ever. Oh well. It's so amazingly thrilling to play a new game that actually requires skill... and not just standing still pressing a sequence of buttons like in WoW. The controls are going to take a bit to get used to... like the fact that your character turns around to run in the other direction when you move him backwards instead of facing the same way and just stepping backwards, like you do in WoW. Also, the camera... I've gotta seriously figure out how to move that thing with just one hand. It's just that the movement joystick is on the same side of the PSP as the camera controls, so I'm not really sure how the fuck you move while turning the camera at the same time. I'm not really sure how that's possible... but Doug and Jason seem to be able to do it easily, so it's obviously doable.

ANYHOW. Vegas time, Brandon's almost at my house, whoo! Good times to be had. ;D

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun.

So, like clockwork, my life is changing again. Does this happen to other people as much as it happens to me? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just melodramatic about it all... but when I sit back and look at the whole picture, I really don't think so. The changes in my life just seem so erratic, sometimes to the point where I just roll my face across my keyboard and think, "WTF."

As for what's changed; The biggest thing that has changed is that I've broken up with my boyfriend, whom I had been dating since I moved back home to Massachusetts about 6 or so months ago. Right before then, I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn't get involved in any serious relationships until AFTER I got my life all sorted out and stable (This includes a full time job or equivalent, a car, and an apartment.). The reason for this is because I tend to throw myself headfirst into any relationship I get myself into, and usually end up doing financially stupid things like, say, buying plane tickets to halfway across the country to visit a significant other instead of paying back my mother the hundreds of dollars I owe her.

Now, as we can all see, I obviously broke that promise to myself. I'm like an obsessive compulsive dater. The fact that that statement is accurate is kind of sad, but hey, to each their own, right? I'd rather have dating OCD than like, be constantly straightening the curtains or something. So, THIS time, I am going to stick to my promise to myself, and NOT get into a serious relationship until AFTER I have my life all squared away. Mind you, I'm still going to allow myself to casually date, or I'd probably just go insane before I reached my goal. And if anyone in the meantime feels that they just really must have me for a girlfriend, then well... hey, if they think I'm so awesome, they can wait for me. Right? It will mean a lot more to me that a person respects my need to keep this promise to myself than it would if they tried to force themselves into my life as soon as possible.

I've also made some surprisingly good friends as of recent. Now, this is like, uberly strange for me, considering in the past 4 years all the "good" friends I've made have just kind of... faded away. There was Tan and Ryan down in Florida, and Lamar in Georgia, but they had their own things going for them, and I just ended up being a visitor in their lives, as I have been to just about everyone I've met for the last 4 years. I mean, I actually thought about it a few days ago and realized that Sean, Stef, and Ashley have been the only friends I've EVER had and kept in contact with for longer than like, a year. And I'm not talking aquaintences... I'm talking people you see very often, who go out of their way to spend time with you or talk to you, people who you spend time with and immediately miss the second they leave.


Doug is the most amazing person I've had the pleasure of knowing in a REALLY long time. We have fun together, can talk about anything, and... he understands my need to be a REALLY HUGE NERD. We're fundamentally different on the inside, but are both too laid back to really care. Even if he doesn't know what I'm going through, he still somehow understands. Did I mention we have a LOT of fun together?! I can't believe I used to think he was really annoying when I first started working with him at the end of last summer, haha! Oh how things change.

Brandon is a kid I've known since we both went to Wentworth. He was one of the only people I could actually stand in that place, and was a better friend at the time than I gave him credit for. We both dropped out, and I ended up traveling all over the eastern coast, and he ended up in the Army... and over the years we have always kept in touch through emails, even if it wasn't very often. We keep each other company no matter what may be going on in our lives. He's finally on leave, just for a month or so, but we're going on an amazing Vegas trip (leaving on the 27th, whoo!) and then possibly snowboarding later in March! He's a really sweet guy, and I'm looking forward to spending actual non-email time with him!

Jason is the most recent addition to my friends. I haven't known him long at all (maybe a month tops?) but he's hilarious to talk to, and has no inhibitions, which makes me feel a lot less out of place about my morals (or lack thereof?). He's also pretty good at talking me out of doing stupid shit, which believe me, I really need someone to do that now and again.

So... that's more or less what's been going on. Epiphanies, friends, life choices, etc. More or less, things are starting to look up for me!

Coin-Operated Boy - my new boyfriend!

So I had a wonderful fiasco at work tonight with a real creeper. This foreign black guy came in looking for a friend or two of his who had supposedly stayed at our hotel the week before (why he was looking for them after they were already gone, who would know.) After insisting for about 20 minutes (not exaggerating) that they had to have stayed here, which they definitely didn't, and I made it very clear that I was NOT wrong, and they had never stayed here, he finally went to leave. Much to my dismay, he came back in not 3 minutes later, said his car wasn't working, and harassed me for the next hour trying to get him help for his car, even though he had no money, no credit card, and no friends to call. I of course don't have jumper cables, so he starts asking random guests that are walking by. Through all this, he proceeds to hit on me mercilessly, doing that lecherous up-and-down eyeing of me (which made my skin crawl), and also asked if I had a boyfriend, a husband, and where I lived. NOT cool. Around 2:00 am his friend is finally coming to pick him up and call AAA for him, and he walks up to the counter and starts yelling for me. The conversation went something like this:

Creepy Black Guy: So, once my car gets fixed, I'll come looking for you.
Me: Um... WHAT did you just say?
CBG: I said once my car is fixed, I'll stop by now and then to see if you're around.
Me: You know, that's really creepy. Don't EVER come look for me.
CBG: Oh, oh, oh, I was just pulling your leg.
Me: -Gives him the evil eye and walks in the back. -

So, in light of all this, I've decided I need to make a fake boyfriend/fiance to ward off sketchy guys. Someone big, mean, and scary that nobody would ever want to risk fucking with just to hit on me. Now, this boyfriend is in no means my "dream man", just someone to throw in the face of any creeper who likes to make my life hell.

Name: Aaron James "AJ" Chase
Age: 25
Looks: Australian, with the accent to boot, 6'2", athletic build, wavy blonde hair and blue eyes; kinda surfer-y but clean cut.
Past: We met down in Florida when I moved there with some friends, and have since moved to Atlanta together for an internship he took, and then back up to Massachusetts because he knew I wanted to be back with my family.
Present: We live in an apartment in Worcester in the Burncoat Street area, and he has an apprenticeship with a privately owned doctor's office being a respiratory therapist.
Future: We have plans to get engaged "next year", once he's done with his apprenticeship and has a steady job.
Interests: Video games, swimming, and playing guitar (electric, not that sissy acoustic stuff).

... Man, I'm starting to wish he DID exist! Haha. I can't wait til the next time I get to bust out my new boyfriend in conversation... let's see if I can keep a straight face about it, shall we?

Because no other thoughts in my head right now should really be posted on the internet for public viewing.

I found this "personality test" a while ago and just stumbled across it on my facebook account. After reading it (again!) I'm amazed how dead-on it is about how I am. Here's a little peek into the inner workings of Dax. Maybe if somebody could put the pieces together from this, someone would actually get me. I doubt that's going to happen any time soon, though.

Found at http://www.perex.com/index.php

You are exceptional and unique. Your quest in life is to identify exactly who you are and why you’re here. What’s important to you is the journey of self discovery, determining who you are today is not the same as who you’ll be tomorrow.

You resist being categorized and are quick to question any social standard that you sense someone imposing on you. Stereotypical gender roles always interest you and, in your mind, connect to issues that most other people would never even consider related.

You can “connect” with any individual person and practically read their mind, but you have a natural tendency to match your actions to the expectations you read from their mind and yearn for company that lets you truly, naturally be yourself. You struggle between letting yourself naturally match the sentiment of the group (which feels like putting on a façade) or letting your individuality shine, which may allow people to see how different you are.

You are particularly accepting of other people and have a special talent for seeing people’s true selves instinctively. It takes time for you to trust your gut instinct about people because even you don’t believe that someone could be so right about another person’s nature so quickly. This intuitive sense about what people are thinking (which is actually your hyper-attention to nonverbal cues) is your special talent. You may think it is available to everyone and that others just ignore it, but in truth others could never develop the skill to the level which comes naturally to you.

To you everything happens on a personal level. Your friends come to you for advice because they know that you’ll love them for who they are and put yourself in their shoes to look at the world. Your advice, although varied in delivery, usually boils down to “be true to yourself” and “listen to your heart.” You are also an excellent confidant because things told to you never return to anyone through the grapevine. You exude this quality so strongly that even strangers will sometimes spontaneously begin confiding their deepest secrets in you.

Despite all of that, you are not much of a talker. In fact, words sometimes trip you up because you prefer nonverbal communication. Unfortunately, most of the world is not as attuned to nonverbal communication the way you are, so your opinion can get overshadowed if a more outspoken person is part of the decision.

You focus more on nurturing other’s self esteem than any other type. As a result of this naturally caring nature your close friends often turn to you for moral support.

You are by far the most talented of all types at reading nonverbal cues. In your admirable attempts to convey a message diplomatically, those who aren't sensitive to inflection, tone, insinuations or body language sometimes simply do not get your message because they only receive the verbal half of what you said.

In the same way that you're the best at reading nonverbal cues, you're also the best at sending them. When you speak they miss the nonverbal half of your message, then they speak and transmit twice the message (verbal + nonverbal) which often gives away more than they intended but is sometimes carelessly inaccurate since they don’t send nonverbal cues as well as you do. When you're tempted to assign bias based on someone’s tone or other nonverbal cues it is wise to have them restate what they said and see if ignoring the careless, unintentional nonverbal half of their message lets the true meaning through.

If you have children your focus is making sure that your child has a strong self-image and high self-esteem. More than other parents it is important for you to be friends with your children.

You are a healer and probably give great massages and know what foods will make people happy again. You prefer to surround yourself with direct, honest, authentic people who let you reinvent yourself every time you meet. You want nothing more than for there to be peace and harmony in the world, and your actions clearly reflect that vision.

You are more strongly moved by poetry and artistic expression than any other type. You are interested in the finer points of different artistic mediums, having many complete and incomplete poems and stories in your head if not on paper.

TL;DR version:
I can read your fucking mind! Yeah, that's right. Ph34r m3.

The 15 Rules of Dating.

I was recently talking to a friend about the slew of men I've dated, and was explaining that while yes, those relationships have all failed, I have learned invaluable lessons from each of them regarding dating. Here's a compilation of great guidelines and advice I always try to follow when considering dating a guy. I chose one lesson from each different guy I've dated.

1.) Sometimes a friend is just a friend.
2.) Never date a boy who is currently or needs to be on any sort of mood-altering drug.
3.) Never date an ex-boyfriend's best friend.
4.) Never date a boy with homicidal tendencies.
5.) Drug dealers rarely make loving, faithful boyfriends.
6.) Chances are if the guy's last girlfriend has a restraining order out on him, he's not a keeper.
7.) Dates via myspace bulletin rarely work out well in the long run.
8.) If the guy you're with likes to take it up the ass more than you do, something's wrong.
9.) Sometimes being too smart is a bad thing.
10.) Sometimes being too good looking is a bad thing.
11.) Boys who live in different countries are hard to maintain relationships with.
12.) Learn when a guy is actually interested, or just in it for the booty.
13.) Religious guys. No.
14.) It's not always a good idea to try to date a guy who already has a girlfriend.
15.) Above all else, make sure you know what a guy looks like before getting too involved.

2009: Already a day late.

So, my friend Ashley has one of these. It looked like a fantastic waste of time. Therefore...

Hello, my name is Dax. I am a gamer... I'm not much into variety, but there are a couple that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside; I'll delve into that topic at a later date. My soul exists within my laptop, affectionately named "Lappy", which, like a real live soul, travels with me wherever I may go. I find it difficult merely walking into the kitchen without it. My life fits into approximately 4 large suitcases. That's about all there is about me and my life that doesn't change. Everything else is constantly shifting, indefinitely. So is my life.

Let's see what happens this year, shall we?