So, like clockwork, my life is changing again. Does this happen to other people as much as it happens to me? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just melodramatic about it all... but when I sit back and look at the whole picture, I really don't think so. The changes in my life just seem so erratic, sometimes to the point where I just roll my face across my keyboard and think, "WTF."
As for what's changed; The biggest thing that has changed is that I've broken up with my boyfriend, whom I had been dating since I moved back home to Massachusetts about 6 or so months ago. Right before then, I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn't get involved in any serious relationships until AFTER I got my life all sorted out and stable (This includes a full time job or equivalent, a car, and an apartment.). The reason for this is because I tend to throw myself headfirst into any relationship I get myself into, and usually end up doing financially stupid things like, say, buying plane tickets to halfway across the country to visit a significant other instead of paying back my mother the hundreds of dollars I owe her.
Now, as we can all see, I obviously broke that promise to myself. I'm like an obsessive compulsive dater. The fact that that statement is accurate is kind of sad, but hey, to each their own, right? I'd rather have dating OCD than like, be constantly straightening the curtains or something. So, THIS time, I am going to stick to my promise to myself, and NOT get into a serious relationship until AFTER I have my life all squared away. Mind you, I'm still going to allow myself to casually date, or I'd probably just go insane before I reached my goal. And if anyone in the meantime feels that they just really must have me for a girlfriend, then well... hey, if they think I'm so awesome, they can wait for me. Right? It will mean a lot more to me that a person respects my need to keep this promise to myself than it would if they tried to force themselves into my life as soon as possible.
I've also made some surprisingly good friends as of recent. Now, this is like, uberly strange for me, considering in the past 4 years all the "good" friends I've made have just kind of... faded away. There was Tan and Ryan down in Florida, and Lamar in Georgia, but they had their own things going for them, and I just ended up being a visitor in their lives, as I have been to just about everyone I've met for the last 4 years. I mean, I actually thought about it a few days ago and realized that Sean, Stef, and Ashley have been the only friends I've EVER had and kept in contact with for longer than like, a year. And I'm not talking aquaintences... I'm talking people you see very often, who go out of their way to spend time with you or talk to you, people who you spend time with and immediately miss the second they leave.
Doug is the most amazing person I've had the pleasure of knowing in a REALLY long time. We have fun together, can talk about anything, and... he understands my need to be a REALLY HUGE NERD. We're fundamentally different on the inside, but are both too laid back to really care. Even if he doesn't know what I'm going through, he still somehow understands. Did I mention we have a LOT of fun together?! I can't believe I used to think he was really annoying when I first started working with him at the end of last summer, haha! Oh how things change.
Brandon is a kid I've known since we both went to Wentworth. He was one of the only people I could actually stand in that place, and was a better friend at the time than I gave him credit for. We both dropped out, and I ended up traveling all over the eastern coast, and he ended up in the Army... and over the years we have always kept in touch through emails, even if it wasn't very often. We keep each other company no matter what may be going on in our lives. He's finally on leave, just for a month or so, but we're going on an amazing Vegas trip (leaving on the 27th, whoo!) and then possibly snowboarding later in March! He's a really sweet guy, and I'm looking forward to spending actual non-email time with him!
Jason is the most recent addition to my friends. I haven't known him long at all (maybe a month tops?) but he's hilarious to talk to, and has no inhibitions, which makes me feel a lot less out of place about my morals (or lack thereof?). He's also pretty good at talking me out of doing stupid shit, which believe me, I really need someone to do that now and again.
So... that's more or less what's been going on. Epiphanies, friends, life choices, etc. More or less, things are starting to look up for me!
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